The Pope's Children by David McWilliams

Author:David McWilliams [McWilliams, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780717155613
Publisher: Gill & Macmillan

Chapter 12

Deckland — A State of Mind

THE KELLS ANGELS, ‘ONLY AN HOUR FROM DUBLIN’

The original ‘only an hour from Dublin’ was immortalised in the broadest Navan accent — not an ‘r’ to be heard — in a radio ad by Crannac furniture co-op in Navan. The year it was first broadcast was 1979 — the year of the Pope’s Children. The Crannac factory, as befits the kosher economics doctrine of the time, was a workers’ co-op which had traded behind the barriers of protectionism. It was run by Gael Linn who also established a special marketing company, Irlandia, to market Crannac furniture and other Irish manufactured products in the UK.

The Crannac factory finally closed down in 2003 and next year the site will be home to 150 apartments and 36 houses in an ‘exclusive’ development overlooking the Blackwater. Up the road, on the old site of Navan carpets, will be Blackwater Retail Park, home to Woodies DIY — the portcullis of the BabyBelt: 800,000 sq. ft of retail heaven. At the other side of town, on the old site of Navan Steel, 40-odd acres are being developed for another massive shopping centre, as is the old Navan dog track across the road. Just up from the dog track, where there used to be old traditional furniture makers, there is a furniture retail park, with shops such as Home Zone and Versatile. Versatile won the Bathroom Industry Award last year — the Champions League of the bathroom industry. Versatile offers specialist bathroom designer services using the finest Italian and German models. A little further into the town on Fenian Terrace, Pierce Brosnan’s old two-up, two-down house is for sale. Rumour has it that it will be the first Irish house ever auctioned on e-Bay.

Navan is blurring. Apartments are replacing businesses, homes replacing workplaces; nothing is made here any more. Navan is a quintessential 21st-century mini-economy existing on services, credit and property mania. The property boom has also ensured that the DIY and self-improvement disease has reached Navan, so furniture makers are replaced by bathroom designers, local products replaced by hi-spec Italian versions and Navan Carpets replaced by Woodies DIY — from which you can create your own dream decks.

Just outside the town is little Dublin. In ‘Little Dublin’, as Johnstown is known locally, there are two bars, O’Dwyer’s for the Dubs and O’Brien’s for the locals. Little Dublin has over 2,000 houses in it and a Jackie Skelly fitness centre where overweight commuters can burn off the flab. But €280,000 buys you a three-bed, timber-framed semi and you wouldn’t get that anywhere in Dublin.

Further out, past one of the busiest Mercedes garages in the county — Newgate Motors — we move out to the home of the Kells Angels. As well as the Book of Kells and Colmcille’s 9th-century house, Kells is home to Jack Fitzsimons whose famous book, Bungalow Bliss — the manual of architectural plans and contracts for affordable bungalows — was hugely popular here in Ireland since its first printing in 1971.

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